Beautiful.... Nails?

I know how much most girls enjoy seeing their nails manicured and having that beautiful nail polish painted on their nails one by one. To me... it's a chore. It's a meaningless action that I have to perform once in 2 or 3 days. This is what I think when I am painting my nails: "Oh gosh, not again..." "When will I be able to use the toilet... 45 minutes... great..." "Oh man, the cap is stuck, now I have to use a lighter color of red compared to the ones on my toe nails." "Damn, did I just scratch those nails again." "What! I have to do it again?" "Nooo...stop peeling, I hate to do it again." "Come on, do it faster, let's get it done and over with..." "Do I really need to paint another layer of polish? Hmmm, one is fine." I know, I know. But not everyone enjoys having their nails painted or manicured. I like my nails just the way it is, like how I like myself, just the way I am =)

Cross-Roads

What do you do when you are at a crossroad? Do you stop, think and choose? Do you turn back because the choosing makes you afraid? Do you continue walking the decided path? Everyone else would be happy to leave the job but I wouldn't feel the same way, I would be sad to leave. Why? Sad to give up the freedom I have... Sad to give up the luxury of traveling around the world... Sad to give up the financial freedom that this job has given me... Sad to give up off days on weekdays... Sad to give up waking up anytime I want on free days... Sad to give up... Something... Which defined me for 5 years... But... Life is about changes... Isn't it? Although I am sad and procrastinating about making changes but I am slowly taking a step out to make small little changes every single day. And I know I am not doing it all alone. I have my family, my boyfriend, my friends and my dog, maybe a change is not so bad :)

When words hurt more than heartbreaks....

February... a month that came and has not ended, I was so excited at first but slowly the excitement became something else. Everything I was looking forward to was taking place in February but alas, I realized things were not going as smoothly as I hoped!

Things that come for free are never really free, just like the tickets to Japan that I got for my mum and I to travel to Hokkaido in June, we can never be certain if we can leave here on time for Japan, just getting the tickets from Tokyo to Sapporo is causing my head to spin! Well, it actually boils down to one thing - money. If you are willing to pay, all troubles seems to disappear into thin air... *sigh* the luxury of being rich... Well, with the exception of my bro and sis-in-law who had a great mileage plan that gave them two pair of free tickets to Japan! Oh man, wished I knew that sooner! But still, thanks for the information, sis!

Weddings... such happy affairs! But such detailed-oriented events and mind-blowing schedules, I am attending 2 in a day but I have the honor of being a bridesmaid, loads of fun and the comes the jittery section at dinner where I have to dance in with the rest of the wedding crew and later, make a speech. But before that, I had such a stressful moment... just that particular moment... actually... moments... deciding when to leave the wedding, then later, which wedding to go first, oh boy, aren't I glad when it was finally decided and both parties were happy, it was more important to me that the parties were happy with the arrangements since it is their big day and I do care about their feelings.

But there was one point when I was being called a hypocrite... for being a bridesmaid, for choosing to stay by my friend's side, for wanting to stay longer at a friend's wedding...

When the words were spoken out, I managed to contain my sadness and anger for being called such a name, a good friend no lesser. His emotional build-up seems to have spilled on me,  I can forgive, but can I forget how hurt I was by his words. Not once, not twice, and more so, in front the rest of our friends...

Life can be such a bitch...

Pictures of the past, Words of the present

Vacations as many said are the best cures to a stressful and uneventful lifestyle but that may not be true in my case considering my job scope. The recent vacation has brought much joy and laughter, it gave experiences that I would keep close to my heart. And most importantly, I learned and interacted with the person I love. I am glad, actually relieved that the whole learning process was a good one, it was filled with warmth although once or twice, there were coldness of silence which I have to say was majorly the fault of mine, up to my usual 'princess-sy' temper, you see.

Discovering the better part of someone is always easier, but it is the knowing and acceptance of the other's faults that makes it all worthwhile. Most people says that if they are in love, nothing else matters... but the truth is when you are in love with someone, everything else matters a little more.
I have enjoyed the trip... mentally and spiritually more than physically, tells me something about acting my age I guess *smiles*

I haven't seen my friends in a while, with the long vacation and immediate work commitment, let's just say I haven't been with anybody else other than my boyfriend this month... will definitely make it up next month! *crosses fingers*

As I looked through the photos and words on facebook which I visit once a week, I see pictures of familiar faces, people who were (once) my close friends but seeing their words written for others...new found friends or now their close friends instead of me, I feel a tinge of jealously, a pang of regret and
a tone of unfamiliarity. Where have all the bonds that once ties us so closely disappeared to, were they hiding behind our shadows or did they dissipate with our busy schedules and lack of contact. I blame no one, not even myself... we have a part in every little event that happens in our lives, what it takes is a little effort from you and me...
Isn't that right?

There is more to life...

Don't get me wrong, I love life as it is now, nothing can compare to the last few months of my life. It was filled with happiness and laughter beyond what I imagine it to be, in short, my life is perfect. Wait... almost perfect... As I lay down on my bed, scanning through the play list, wondering what my hub station has in store for me, and I thought to myself: Here we go again, a night of shows, snacking in bed, calling my boyfriend and dreading working in two days time. I have been doing nothing else, nothing else for the past six months. It's not like my zest for life is gone, I still love doing what was mentioned above but there was something missing... The sense of fulfillment, I... still have no idea what that meant to me yet but I guess it would be something or a reason that gets me out of bed in the morning and looking forward to a brand new day (not that my family, boyfriend and friends are not reasons for that). In ten months, I would be jobless (might be...), and I would like to be able to open my arms to another job that I know I would enjoy being in but it is definitely easier said than done. What have I done so far to make that come true, nothing... so it's time to stop procrastinating and make some decisions for the future.

To the future... cheers!

Pigtails

I am not exactly the person with the best temper on earth, a fact that I have come to admit a long time ago. But I do have patience and it does take something or some nagging from someone before I turn around and bite his/her head off.

Well, I didn't exactly do that... simply because I can't and it would put me in a tight spot for the rest of my time with the company. I work for a company where image seems to lord over all other things. The word has been drilled into this cramped brain of mine - image, image, image!

We had to work with a supervisor, someone who does random checks on us, and unfortunately so, I have to be one of those lucky ones. Everything was good, my product knowledge, my work attitude, a good team player... blah blah blah and then *BAM*, he spoke out.

"What's with the two pigtails behind?"

For awhile, I thought he was cracking a lame joke since I just cut my hair short, how can there be any pigtails. Then I realized that when I tuck my hair behind my ears, the edge of my slanted bob tends to look much longer than the rest. I frowned.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

I looked at him, deciding whether I should be annoyed or humored over such small little thing, I was irritated... it wasn't untidy or messy, why can't he leave it be. Humans...

"I will chop it off..."

"Okay, I will keep you monitored over the next 30 days."

Keep me monitored... that moron. Life never seems to get better with people like him. Hallelujah to another year with such morons!

Wine and Dine

I have truly come to understand the phase of wine and dine, that's not merely food and wine but a kind of lifestyle, and it was my trip to Johannesburg that shone light upon such lifestyle. I wouldn't say anything bad about a lifestyle of wine and food but it certainly will and already added a few inches to my waistline. It has been a good 4 years since I came anywhere close to Africa, and I was quite eager to do so this time, I even made a mental note to visit the safari if the weather was not too cold to do so. But as one knows, when you arrive at a destination, all the past planning seems to be so... unimportant.. the only thing that matters is what lies in front of your eyes. And for me, lazing in the room was a fabulous idea since the morning that I checked in was kinda of chilly. To top it off, there were plenty of restaurants within walking distance, a casino, cinema theater, all within the compound itself, what more can I ask for? Let me summarize the story of my life for these few days:

Day 1 - Slept through lunch, had dinner at Ocean Basket with 2 others, something similar to Fish & Co. Ordered a platter for 2 that came with linefish, calamari, princess prawns (the prawns comes in king, queen, prince and princess, with king being the largest), mussels and squids. A village salad consisting of healthy vegetables and feta cheese. A small pan of creamy garlic mussels. And I ordered a glass of white wine to top it off. Out of the platter, my favorite was the linefish that crumbles away in your mouth without you chewing it, that's how fresh it is. The salad was a refreshing change to all the grilled and creamy dishes.

Day 2 - Breakfast at the hotel. Walked right into a room filled with tables of delicious food. As always, fruits first, papaya, pineapple and watermelon, not as sweet as I hope it would be, and the grapefruit made its appearance when I swallowed my last mouthful of papaya, shucks... Never mind, will have that later, next was the bread table, it was a gorgeous spread, all kinds of pastries, bread loafs...etc I went straight for the croissant, it wasn't warm but it was crunchy on the outside and so airy and soft within, a perfect pair with the butter, it would have been a perfect croissant if it was warm. Next would be the eggs, ohhh, I am always impressed when a hotel breakfast comes with a chef on the spot to cook your eggs. I ordered a mushroom, tomatoes and cheese omelette, it wasn't bad except that it was a little tad gooey, would have been better if the omelette stayed in the pan a little while more, there were beef, chicken, pork and lamb sausages, without a doubt, I went for the lamb sausages and it was the right choice, chewy and a tinge of spiciness, goes very well with my omelette. I caught myself taking a peek at something that one wouldn't consider for breakfast, lamb chops... But my love for lamb told me that I had to try a piece of the lamb chop glistering in its gravy and boy, am I glad I did, it was juicy and tender, the brown gravy covering the lamb chops just made it so much better, and I had to go for more. I was filled but I managed to down another one of the almost-perfect croissant before I ended my breakfast tour.

Dinner was the one that I was looking forward to, strongly recommended by the rest, the whole group of us set out to Tribes, a restaurant famous for its steak. We settle down at a smoking-area which I was glad wasn't that smoky and seems to bring out the atmosphere of the restaurant. All of us agreed that steak should be accompanied by a good bottle of red wine, and it was the start of a fabulous dinner. Starters were a must of course, escargots and mussels in creamy cheese sauce, chicken liver braised in a special brown sauce that tasted so good with mini baguette, and good old greek salads filled the table. It was time for our choice of cuts, I was deliberating between the T-bone and rib eye, finally went for a medium rare rib eye with no sauce and Morogo, an african dish - spinach cooked with onions and tomatoes. I believe that if a steak is good, there was no need for any kind of sauce. And I was right, the thin layer of steak juice covering the steak after grilling only serve to perfect the rib eye. The meat was so tender and juicy, every mouthful was an enjoyment. It was one of the best steak I have ever eaten and to add to it, it was value for money, comparing to what I usually pay for a steak, the price charged for the steak was embarrassing. The steak came with some onion rings which was lightly covered with a layer of flour and not batter, it was really crunchy with a tinge of saltiness, just the way onion rings should be. It was a sinful meal but who cares!

Day 3 - Nandos, I have eaten the grilled chicken with their famous peri-peri sauce a numerous times in Australia, but never in the country of Origin. I was looking forward to it, to gauge the difference in standards. Please do not misunderstand me, the one in Australia is good, but the one in South Africa is great. I love the red powder spice that one can shake onto the chips, its not sweet but gives off a combination of spice and salt, at the right level, when coupled with the tasty chicken with mild peri-peri sauce, it was exactly what I wanted.

I wanted to skip dinner since I was still feeling quite full (I bought back a Nandos drumstick as tea) but decided to give the Italian restaurant a try and I was glad that we went in a group which meant we could have a variety of food. Started off with a bottle of red wine, greek and rucola salad, a rocket and parma ham pizza, I love the salads, always good and makes me feel good about eating salad too after all the other sinful meals. I ordered a funghi bianco, mixed exotic mushroom in light cream sauce with linguine. I was worried that it would be too creamy but it turned out to be really light and the musky aroma of the pasta could be detected easily, the only thing that ticks me off is the width of the pasta,I like my linguine flat and broad, not skinny like spaghetti, the one used in my pasta was thin and flat... but that didn't hinder how good the pasta tasted. Tomorrow, I would be heading back after a life of wine and dine for a week, I enjoyed it but I wouldn't give up seeing my love ones for another week of WINE AND DINE! Cheers!

Another Month

I must really try to get back into the habit for of updating my blog, excuses like I am too busy changing my flights, catching more sleep, never being around... etc are all lame excuses! In this new year, hmmm, no longer a new year... I have slowly began to realize that I was wrong, wrong to say that people change, I meant people do change but for some people, their behaviors differ from what they used to be, more like, their priorities have changed which led to the change in behavior or should I say a change to their lifestyles. I am one of them, and this change might be more visible to people around you rather than yourself, even your pet! Well, I am still trying to balance out my lifestyle, between family, friends, boyfriend and of course, my dear pet. And I am embarrassed to say that I am failing quite miserably three out of four. I hope family, friends and pet can bear with me for awhile more while I try my best to alter my schedule and planning. All in all, I still love ya!

Full Circle

This couple of months have brought the start of never-ending changes to my life. New life, new plans, new decisions, new schedules, new goals, new loves, more laughters , more joys, more smiles, more heartaches, more concerns...etc. But these changes have not change who I am, I am who I am and that fact will never change. What changes is the amount of effort I put into the new different things that came into my life and how my time is being shared among other people and things. But these changes have brought me joy and laughters. My best friend, Ming, told me that I have come to a full circle and I totally agree so, I came back to the same person after the passing of time, going around the world and leaving footprints on different continents. But did she realize that she has come a full circle too? Back to someone whom she has always known, someone who has always been there, maybe it was fate, fate that has been knitting their threads of destiny, leading them back to one another and tying them together once more. My wish lies in the hope of the never-ending circles of our lives, the circle of bonds that will never break... =)

An Update...

Woah, it has been ages since I updated the blog, sincerely apologize to friends and family who do visit my blog time to time, so this post is an update to my recent creations! I have been having loads of D.E.L.I.C.I.O.U.S food for the last 2 months and it is impossible to list them out unfortunately, but the last 2 months have been really really great months so please do enjoy the yummy updates. And ...... Congratulations to my friend, Sabrina, for becoming a new mummy, of course, a gorgeous one! I can't wait to see your beautiful son!! =)

Daddy's Birthday meal!

Will be updating more often, that's it for now! Cheers!

i've made my choice

after weeks of thinking, i have finally made up my choice to finish what i started, it is just another year, i am sure i can make through it and in fact, make good use of it! i have just completed my jodi picoult book and now i am on her next book. i love reading her books, but am embarrassed to admit that there are some words that i came across and not knowing what they meant. so what i usually do is circle words that i need to check up the dictionary and underline words that i am not too sure of the pronunciation, in another words... okay, my english is not that good but it's not that bad either.

there was once i made a joke out of myself by pronouncing the word "satisfied" as "sextisfied", my brother and sis-in-law had a huge laugh about it and i never ever forget how important it is to pronounce a word correctly thus all the underlining and checking up of dictionary... =)

i hate waiting... for anything... especially for calls, people who say they would call but never did, waiting for messages that never comes, the sound of one's hope crushing seems to get louder with each passing hour, no one should have to bear such disappointment...

i gradually learned... that it is not blood that my parents pass down to me, but courage... the courage to smile when it hurts, the courage to climb back up when i fall, the courage to live on when everything seems to go wrong, the courage to love and be loved...

and i have learned that you could know someone forever and not see what lies beneath his/her exterior... people are not meant to be understood after all...

no matter what, life goes on...

What would you do?

There are times when you start thinking about a matter and the more you think about it, the more the matter matters or the worse the problem becomes and you simply can't get it out of your mind, so you end up propped up in front of the screen, twenty-four hours on the internet, hoping to find some answers online, hoping that they are the ones you are looking for. That was what happened to me, I was worried about my test after much concern from family and friends... and it really made me scared when I thought "what if" came true.

With the tension building up, it was hard to wait another second, so I called in to the clinic even though I was in United States, as if I was surprise, I was given the silent treatment at the start of the call, even when I told the lady on the line that I was overseas... and to make the matter worse, she told me rudely that the blood test was sent to an external lab which will take around a week to send the results back, right, as if i was suppose to know that. I called in as the nurse who took my blood test told me that it would be back in three to four days time. I can understand that not all the staff at the clinic are trained nurse but is it so hard to find some humanity nowadays, is it so hard to place your self in the shoes of someone who had to take a blood test after an abnormal urine test, the agony of not knowing what oneself is suffering from, a terminal illness, a devastating disease which could easily rocked the boat in her/his calm life. Is is so hard to understand the relief of people when they find out that there are nothing wrong with themselves...

As I stayed awake in San Francisco hotel, I couldn't help but made another search on the symptoms of kidney failure or damage, and the more I read through the pages, the more I am able to match up to the symptoms. I know it seems ridiculous but when you are worried and mentally unable to function soundly, everything seems to be a blur. The protein, the back ache, the waking up in the middle of the night, the increase in frequency... that is like a match of three out of five symptoms, seems like I am on the losing end eh?

Lying in bed in defeat, I thought to myself about the clear day I had in San Francisco, I wasn't in a "Let's have fun and enjoy my day here" mood but neither did I want to stay cooped up in the room. What would I do if I didn't have a chance to be here again? Have a bowl of piping hot clam chowder, crispy and hot calamari and some gigantic crabs! That would be a fabulous idea to take things off my mind... okay, I am trying to convince myself that it is a fabulous idea... at least I am trying.

Then I started thinking, if I was to die soon, there are things to be settled, things to be put in place. I need to draw up a will making sure all my hard-earned money doesn't go to the government! Haha. I need to make sure that my parents are well-looked after, of course, my dear shetland sheepdog too. Things to say to all my friends, there will be so much letters and cards, "words" that are kept in a tightly sealed jar, finally getting to know "freedom of speech" *giggles. Well, to think of it, I should have done all these much earlier not only when it is needed, hmmm, I shall place these on my "must-do"list.

Enjoy this song, pals! Especially you, Joann =)

a bad week, a good week, that's my life...

last week was bad, i missed my flight, i got caught in the rain, my laptop crashed and there goes all my important files and most of all, all my precious photos that i painstakingly took in each corner of the earth... *sigh* i though nothing could go worse and i was wrong again, i went to the clinic and for some reason, i was asked to take a urine test (yew.. i know...) there were protein and white cells in it, so it seems like i have a problem and the most serious case - kidney failure.

i was shocked but that's the worst case and i haven't had a real test yet, so it's yet to be known and i can only go for the test after my menses. i was worried but now, i am just moving on but my parents are so not moving on... i wanted to bring my mum on the japan trip but this test thingy is bogging her down so i decided that i shall go for the test tomorrow although it's not going to be that accurate but at least, it put our minds on ease. mine too, to be frank.

i had a great week too, hanging our with friends, doing some baking, re-installing my 'new' laptop, bringing my dog for walks... hopefully, i can bring him to the parks soon where he can run freely but not having a car is really a big problem, all the effort in trying to flag a cab down or calling the cab companies trying to persuade them to pick up my dog and i is so frustrating...

and i am at a crossroad, i was offered a 'provisional' post at the job i applied which mean they want me, they want me not.. hahah

well, all these makes our life interesting, don't they?

rudeness comes in many forms

Today has been a great day... no... today was a great day till i met this friend of mine, she went to THE same church as I did when I was in junior college, just for a few months and now, we are colleagues, we rarely saw one another at work but today, as I was walking out of a shopping center in Los Angeles with another colleague, I thought I saw someone I knew, so I gave a second glance. You know when you see someone you know, you give a nod or a smile, simply a gesture to acknowledge one another, as I was about to do that, she stared at me, cold as stone, so I was surprised when she called out to me.

No hi, no how are you, no how have you been. 'Do you know J is back for good?' she asked. I just nod my head and said yeah, then this caucasian guy friend of hers just butt in. 'She's tall,' he murmured while giving me a 'I hate you' look. 'Hi,' I said and rolled my eyes. In my head, I was murmuring back: 'Yes, I am tall and you are short... very short and you have bad breath too.' All right, that is mean but why should I bother giving someone a little respect when he doesn't bother to do so to anyone else. My friend look at him and shrugged her shoulders as if I was the one in the wrong for being who I am.

As I walked away, she took a long glance at me, sweeping her eyes from my head... to toes, as if she would find flowers growing out of my head, knives protruding out of my body or maybe a mermaid's tail instead of my feet. 'Did you see how she looked at you just now?' my friend gasped in surprise, not believing at the kind of rudeness I have just endured. I sighed and told her that there was no point getting angry over such people. Just because she was in some furry and fudgy coat, out with some short and pudgy caucasian guy, she think she is at the top of the world and looking down at the rest of us. I personally think her rudeness was worse than any words that could have been said and for that, she doesn't deserve her name - Lily.

kids are not meant to be used... but to be loved...

currently watching the maury show, it is a show which involves real lives, real situations, real babies, real drama... lotsa of drama. these real people are usually fighting over the fact of who fathered the child, thus the maury show 'helps' these families to find out the truth, and of course, one get to see all the fighting, arguing, bitching...etc on live tv. it is sad to see children being disregarded in such ways...

don't these people know that children are not meant to be objects, objects used to keep boyfriends from breaking up with them, husbands from straying... children are meant to be loved, meant to be brought into this world to bring joy and happiness into their parents' and siblings' lives. it is so sad to see girls trying to get pregnant in order to have their boyfriends to marry them or to see men denying their actions and their responsibilities. i do have friends that does such things, but who am i to judge them, people are propelled by emotions and sometimes it is hard to be logical i guess. but for whatever reasons, babies and children should never be used...

back to the show, i kind of like the host of the show, he did give some great advice and prove to be a fair judge with both sides and i was impressed when he told a man who had fathered a few kids with a few different women that he should 'put a cap on' since every child that comes takes away a part of his love for the rest, i was cheering for the host inside my head when he said that!

so... back to the show...!

london Os

i... i thought i would be typing away like a professional secretary when i managed to hook up the internet as i had loads of things that i was thinking of blogging down... but that was twelve hours ago and my mind is practically empty now after staring at my change board for the past three hours trying to look for swaps that could give me the weekends that i needed without damaging my pocket too much and i hope my efforts do pay off!

oh... i do remember feeling good this morning, it was great to be in london and i was kind of happy to be going around on my own, i missed being here but i miss home too. what's wrong with me, i used to love being abroad, used to love my freedom, but something has changed... i still love traveling and that is a fact that will never change, but i want different things in life now and what i wanted a couple of years ago seems to be so unimportant now... ahhh...

oh... and one of my colleague wants to introduce me to his god-brother because i perfectly fit his requirements. Re-qui-re-ments... nice... it feels like i am some employee going for an interview.

oh... and while i was on the tube, i was surrounded by a group of non-english-speaking people, they were talking and talking, getting louder and louder each minute, when you don't understand a language, everything sounds gibberish, babberish and zibberish. it was like siting in a nest with thousands of birds chirping in your ears! all right, i was slightly irritated and terribly glad that i had to get off the next stop. =)

oh... i bought a lovely dress, thinking i should wear it to my best friend's wedding, hahhaa, but her wedding is not till next year! and as usual, the careless me forgot to check the receipt and i was charged twenty-five pounds more... pounds not dollars... so i have to wake up earlier tomorrow morning to get that settled... thanks to myself.

and that comes to an end of my ohs, time to crawl back in bed and hopefully, a smooth ride to lalaland...

Words that were never said

Have you ever left a conversation or a phone call or even after texting a SMS that you should have said something, feeling that tiny tinge regret of not expressing your opinion or letting someone know something at that moment in time. It happens to me all the time! And I always felt the urge after to turn back, call or text again to finish what I wanted to say, but for some reason, I never let that happen. That feeling is just so 'aaaaarrr', it is as if the words or feelings got stuck somewhere in your system and when they finally make it to the tip of your tongue, it was too late, the conversation or call has ended or the SMS has been sent. So that leave them crawling back, wandering around your throat, not knowing what to do since they simply refused to just vanish into the thin air.

I was texting a friend yesterday while enjoying the movie - You've Got Mail. I... cannot explain my love for old movies just like this one, they are simply magical, watching these movies bring back so much memories! For example, the way of connecting to the internet ten years ago, the dialing of the line with the 'beeeeeeep' sound whenever Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks logged onto the internet brings smile to my face, remembering that was how I did it so many years ago! Oh yes... that friend, so I was texting and I wanted to share, or maybe just to let him know that I was watching You've Got Mail, it was just a though of wanting to let him know more and such but in the end, all I managed to text was: '=) all righty, I will try my best!' I know... it's pathetic, the thought of sharing the never got across in any way. Maybe I was cowardly, or maybe it would seem 'too much' to share so I back off. With so much words that were never said, I am always feeling tinges of regret here and there, so I am wishing one day, these regrets would see the world... that would be nice =)

"Don't you think daisies are the friendliest flower?" ~ Kathleen Kelly (You've Got Mail)

I do... =)

你是否是他。。。或者是她？

你可曾感覺自己表現出最糟的一面
就像潘朵拉的盒子
裝滿了秘蜜，討厭的東西
傲慢，惡意，自已為是
全都跳了出來
有人激怒你
你沒有一笑置之
反而出言攻击
你好，我是討厭鬼。


我被激怒時，舌頭就像打了結
腦袋一片。。。空白
然後整夜翻來覆去，思索自己該說什么
說什么呢？
想不出來
什么都想不起來，即使現在
過了好幾天，還是想不出來
你好，我是膽小鬼 。

Crying... has its uses too...

Have you ever come across people saying that crying is not going to help in anyway or make things better? Well, I beg to differ. From my personal experiences, I find crying does help in some ways and do make things better. I am not saying crying is the best way to solve things or it would be good to cry in every kind of tough situations.

I  have to admit that there were many times that I felt much better after each big cry, it was as if every tear drop that came out carried with it a tiny bit of my sadness or anger. And with each tear, the sadness seems to fade and the anger gradually dissipated. I am sure many girls or women cried because it seems to be the only way to address the sadness, disappointment, anger or sometimes even happiness since words cannot describe how they felt at that moment in time.

Maybe that is the reason why woman tend to live longer than the men, they express their feelings by crying instead of bottling up everything like the men who might find crying - a womens' thing.

From my point of view, crying does not represent that one is weak... rather a person who is strong or confident enough to express himself/herself emotionally, I like people who are able to express themselves in such ways compared to mind games... don't you?

the cravings never ends...

i may be sick, down with flu and fever, but the flu medicine works like a wonder, not how it cures me but how it makes me drowsy, one tablet and i am sleeping like a baby... *yawns*

oh, wondering happily away from my true intentions for the post again... sick but my cravings never dies! my usual clicks on the remote control always bring me to the Man V Food where this guy travels all throughout the states and feature all the best food he can find in the city or town. Food Safari, another channel where the host travels to different parts of Australia and learn about the different cultures and famous dishes other foreigners residing in Australia have to offer. All these shows always leaves me salivating and worse, cravings that can never be fulfilled.

tonight, as i watched Man V Food, the Red Mill juicy bacon deluxe burger and crispy onion rings stole my heart, as my mind flew to seattle and never came back. i made up my mind to visit washington if a new york trip ever comes up! what came up next tore me apart, seafood! my love for seafood beats anything, the alaskan sea feast featured in the Crab Pot Restaurant blew me away, another major reason to get myself to seattle! there is no way i can get back to sleep, but i hope my dreams will be filled with all the glorious food i have just seen... *giggles*