Denial should be a sin...

In a barely queen size bed in San Francisco, I was drifting in and out of a dreamfest when my friend, L .T. called in response to my message earlier on whether he was affected my the earthquake in Los Angeles. And I denied him my 'harlowww... yeah..' just because I was too lazy to lift my hand up to pick up the phone right next to him. *GUILTY* 

The guilt seems to have push its way out of my sleepy system and woke me up. Might as well finish my last bit of cesar salad and cheesecake, I kept thinking that it is healthy salad with an unhealthy slice of cheesecake topped with a gigantic glob of delicious whipped cream (the kind I love!). This is definitely self-denial, how can my salad be healthy with so much cream sauce on every bite and that cheesecake simply makes me cringe with every bite because I know that my body is gonna suffer tomorrow on the treadmill. Let me tell you how great I am at self-denial...

I believe that calories don't count when I finish a tub of philadelphia cream cheese if no one knows about it...

I believe that butter is one of the most amazing substance every created and is actually healthy...

I believe that shopping can help lose weight and replace sessions at the gym...

I believe that humans are kind unless provoked...

I believe that no matter how much weight I gained, I can still fit into my skinny jeans..

I believe that one day he will be the one messaging me first to let me know how his day went, the first one he thinks of when he has something to share, letting me in on his schedules, missing me when we are apart and maybe one day... need me...

Well, enough of my self-denials, I discovered that humans tend to deny when they regret a certain way of behavior. I was watching shark week, this group that was supposed to 'fish' for a Greenland shark to tag and monitor their way of life which means no killing would be involved. A female Greenland shark was caught and observed while bleeding, and only after a certain while of 'observation', the group discovered the bleeding and commented that if there was too much damage done to the shark, they might as well use it as a specimen and cut it up. It seems that they got their way as the shark was punctured in the gill by the second bait hook. Research it maybe but one can't help thinking that regret and denial sets in when the accidental death of the shark was committed. 

Denial may make life easier to bear sometimes and I am definitely guilty of it but what about the life after denial? Do we cover up with more denials until one can no longer bear the weight of our emotions?