while hanging out with a good friend today, i felt guilty whenever we had a good laugh, it was as if i was doing something wrong just by having a laugh, i find myself slipping on a mask as time passed by, and sometimes, the urge to rip it off and be myself again around this friend of mine...
i can't face my buddy in this mask, so i chose to cut the strings, to let go of the friendships of two important people in my life, or maybe i should say they were the ones who let go first, i never knew that a person could hurt so much till now, so this is how it feels to lose a friend (for me, it was friends), i just hope for the pain to go away so i can breathe again
i dun wan to be crying again when those sickening feelings come back to me and hating myself all over again for being so immature, hypocritical, narrow-minded and suddenly, all i am - an emotional wreck
i hate crying till i lose my voice, my sleep, my confidence and one day... myself
so i chose to distance myself, maybe one day, things will fall in place again
"i understand it will be awkward at first... but i believe it will be all right in the future." she told me.
thank you for having faith in me but my confidence has left me and all you see is an empty shell, the future may be for the better or for the worse, but i pray that one day our roads will cross again...
"i feel that we have distanced over the years... there seems to be a barrier." he told me.
that was because i created the barrier to protect our friendship, maybe i shouldn't have done so, i am sorry that we distanced, but now i have laid bricks to create a wall. if the wall ever cracks, maybe we will see light again...
now, i say my goodbyes, there won't be any vacation in melbourne next week, meeting up on the 23rd as promised and road trip to tasmania...
One last word, goodbye
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